Sometimes, when I walk along the street and see the people around me, I fall into thinking. I see the happiness and I find myself smiling. I saw a naked badjao kid running, pulling a toy and then suddenly another kid looking exactly the same as the first one came running too. They were twin boys. They got big tummy as almost every kid badjao is. They were skinhead. They were almost black. These times when I realize I notice every single detail about the things I see, I know that I'm not busy. I know that I am not occupied. I know that I have nothing in this life to attend to except for the cleaning of the house. This might be good, but not for long. I'm only 19 but I got my own share of regrets in this life I headed. Just for example I regret not being in where I should have been now, I regret being such a quitter that I was. I should have been more persistent and focused. I am speaking about my studies. It is painful seeing my former classmates progressing while I stay at home and do nothing but clean. I think about the simplicity of the living of the neighbors. Happy and not always but yes, contented. I regret being such a fool and falling for men I didn't deserve. Some people may say that it's quite alright. Charge it to experience. Maybe I am just bitter and disappointed because I was not the smart girl that I should have been. I only smile in this matter when I think about a certain person that I know I truly loved. I truly cared. Didn't I pray he'd find someone who will love him for all that he is? When I found out he did, it pinched my heart but that was it, because I love him so much that his happiness mattered more than the pain I felt.
